The School of Punomancy
The School of Punomancy emphasizes creativity and emotional fluidity. Your magic is tied to finding and utilizing the tiny grey spaces within the rigorous systems and methodologies of your peers. You channel their frustration over your unending interjections and the fact that your complex and seemingly nonsensical incantations work at all into powerful magical effects. As your mastery grows, you learn to pun, quip, and quibble your way to levels of power of which followers of the standard schools of magic can only dream.
Beginning when you select this school at 2nd level, you commit to the noble task of slinging the highest quality of wordplay towards anyone who will listen to them…whether or not they are ready for it.
You gain the Vicious Mockery cantrip if you do not already have it. Additionally, you gain proficiency in the Performance skill if you do not already have it.
You Didn’t Just Say That, Did You?
Starting at 2nd level, you already have started to induce eyerolling among your peers, and even worse from your foes. When you cast the Vicious Mockery cantrip, you can add your Intelligence modifier to the damage rolled.
Out of Combat, whenever you make a pun, the nearest friendly creature to you must make a Intellingence saving throw against 8 + your Proficiency bonus.
If they succeed, they get a free unarmed attack against you with advantage, causing a maximum of 1 hp of damage as they smack you in the back of the head for making yet another terrible pun. Otherwise, they merely don’t understand the genius of what you just said.
Quip On The Draw
Starting at 6th level, when initiative is rolled, you may spend your reaction and a 2nd level spell slot or higher to announce a rousing pun about the fight circumstance.
Everyone in earshot must make a Wisdom saving throw at your spellcasting DC. On a failure, their initiative is reduced by 5 as they audibly groan or curse at you.
At 10th level, you know how to precisely time your puns to great effect.
When you cast the Vicious Mockery cantrip, you can use your bonus action to expend a spell slot of 1st level or higher to increase the number of creatures targeted by the spell. The level of the spell slot determines the number of additional creatures targeted.
Additionally, any time a creature attempts to cast a spell within 30 feet of you that can hear you, you can use your reaction to make a pun related to the current situation. If the spell has a verbal component, the creature must make a Wisdom saving throw at your spellcasting DC.
On a failure, the spell is interrupted as it audibly groans. The spell slot is not wasted. You can attempt to interrupt spellcasting in this manner a number of times equal to your Intelligence modifier (minimum 1). You regain all expended uses after a long rest.
Glutton For Punishment
At 14th level you can make the most awful of puns that annoy everyone around you. When you cast a Wizard Spell of 1st level of higher with a casting time of 1 action, you may use your bonus action to add an extra flair in the delivery, amplifying your voice to all that (unwillingly) can hear you.
Until the end of your next turn, all hostile creatures within earshot have disadvantage attacking anything but you. You also gain the benefits of the spell Shield until the start of your next turn.
You can use this feature a number of times equal to 1 + your Intelligence modifier (minimum 1). You regain all expended uses after a long rest.